Progress?

I have written before about our desire to have children. We may have made a decision that gets us one step closer to that goal.

We have decided that after my next pack of pills, I will stop taking them. Maybe forever.

This means that as of October 7, I will be on my way to clearing the path for pregnancy. My doctor has said that we should wait three months between going off of the pill and using no birth control at all. This would mean that we could start 2010 with a bang!

I'm trying not to let this mean anything. We haven't decided that it's time to have kids. We've just decided that it's time to be ready to have kids. I haven't told anyone. Telling people gives it weight it shouldn't have, at least not yet.

My mom would certainly be one to make assumptions. She read me the riot act a few weeks ago when I confided in her about my baby fever craziness. She went off the deep end, ranting about how silly it was for us to be so responsible and that maybe I should listen to my body instead. I understood her point and I think the ferocity of her words took us both by surprise.

Even though none of them have stated it, our four parents are ready for grandchildren. I have watched my father, a reserved and thoughtful man, ogle at young babies to make them laugh, his face lighting up when they smile at him. When my in-laws visited family a few weeks ago, including the relatively new children of Donald's cousins, they returned home full of stories about how cute the kids were and with comments about the cousins' parenting styles. And clearly, even though I haven't witnessed my mother making eyes at babies lately, she feels the need too.

The thought of making them grandparents makes me melt. The only thing that trumps it is the expression I picture on Donald's face when he holds his children for the first time. That image keeps me going no matter what lies ahead.