Beginnings

A few nights ago, Donald and I were enjoying a cool evening outside looking at the stars. We realized that, a year ago, we were doing the same thing when we were living at his parents' home when he was unemployed, wondering what our lives would be like a year from then. And now we know.

We are living in our own apartment, in our own space, and in our own community. It is beautiful here and I absolutely love it.

Donald has a good job, one that is challenging and isn't always what he wants, but he's working it out and has committed to sticking with it.

I was able to make some income freelancing and I have now accepted a full-time job with a local university. I'll have a lot of responsibility and it's a new position, which means I'll have some influence over how my job description evolves and I'll have my hands in policy and procedure, which I love.

We adopted a puppy on July 1, a Rottweiler mix named Sasha:

We are moving forward with starting our family, hopefully to know more by the end of this month.

We are meeting regularly with a realtor, looking for our very first home. We are learning so much about each other and what "home" means. It has been such a wonderful way for us to develop our relationship together, although it has its challenges.

I have been enjoying a stay-at-home lifestyle, with lots of flexibility in my schedule and lots of time to get projects done. The full-time position that came along was something of a surprise, especially because I had assumed that I would be working from home, which is partially why we adopted Sasha when we did. I have to think that these things happen for a reason, though.

The income from my new position will be a great help towards purchasing a home sooner rather than later, allowing us to prepare for our growing family. Raising a puppy has started to open our eyes to the amazing world of parenting, giving us many restless nights getting up many times and inspiring many conversations about rules, training, and our desires as we make decisions together. I have discovered that I can get very angry in certain situations, and that I need to get a handle on this before we have children. I need to teach myself better ways of expressing my anger. We are gaining so much that is preparing us for what will come.

At the same time, there are bumps along the way.

I discovered a lump in my breast and I'm in the process of finding out what it is and whether it will have any impact on my health and our other plans. It seems to be a cyst, but there may be something else going on as well, so that's a bit scary. I'll find out more this coming week. I have been advised that the possibility of this being something serious is quite small, but even the tiniest chance has been a reminder to me of my mortality and I have made a very conscious decision to be even more present every day, to appreciate everything I have and to make the most of every opportunity.

I am feeling burned out with the animal shelter with which I volunteer, partially because one of the dogs I was getting to know really well decided to freak out on me, causing scratches and bruises, but also because there are some organizational issues that I'm not sure I have the energy to help fix. I'm the kind of person who is very operationally-minded, and I love to help non-profit organizations become more efficient and productive and to find ways to improve themselves. I just don't think I'm up to the challenge on this one. I have a few other things on my mind these days, I guess.

I'm redirecting my energy these days. I have a puppy to care for now. I'm spending more time with my yoga practice, using it to find balance and calm in my life despite the significant changes we have already made and the changes that we hope will come. I have a week before my new job begins and I hope to spend it preparing for what will probably be my last paid job for a long time because I plan to leave the workforce to raise our children when they arrive.

I think a lot about what my identity will be once that change occurs. My time not working since we moved here to our new community has been very helpful to me in that way. I discovered the joy of running my household. I love taking care of my husband and our pets. I am excited to add children to that mix. I found that I am often lonely when I am home all day, which is why I have directed my energy into exercise classes and volunteering in my community. I know that I need to be connected to be happy, and I will always continue that in some capacity.

I am learning that my career, or what I am paid to do, does not in any way define who I am or what I can contribute to the world around me. I am so much more than that. While my career has given me wonderful experience in various ways and has taught me so much, I know that I can stand on what my life has taught me, not just drawing on paid experience, but on those things I have done in my own time. I have grown more confident and willing to ask questions and to learn from those around me. I am drawn to those who are passionate about what they do. I feel like I am on the verge of finding out more about what I am meant to do in this world, and I am very excited about that. And I am living my life every day.

So many new beginnings. And some endings. Such is the way of the world.