tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6706622696479155515.post4128972521938905438..comments2011-01-16T11:38:53.549-05:00Comments on Daphne and Donald: ShameDaphnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331081210249384572noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6706622696479155515.post-42200158792681574972010-01-26T09:05:49.283-05:002010-01-26T09:05:49.283-05:00I'm reposting a comment from Peggy (http://ser...I'm reposting a comment from Peggy (http://serendipitysmiles.com):<br /><br />"HI Daphne, <br /><br />Family dynamics can be like walking through land mines, right? Believe me when I say your mom misses out because she's too busy judging...she's caught up in an ego game....I watch my daughter struggle with the same issue only it's her dad that does a lot of the disapproving. I just went to Ireland to meet her fiance...someone her father claims is a loser...and he's never met him. In fact, her fiance is engaging, sweet, kind, funny, and good for my daughter. <br /><br />It took courage for you and Donald to have that conversation...your mother's judgment is not a reflection of you but a projection of her own self. <br /><br />All my best. <br />Peggy "<br /><br />I responded: "Peggy, they really can. I'm sorry you're witnessing a similar situation in your family - I'm sure it's pretty common, which is too bad. Donald encourages me to have courage. Remembering that I don't have control over what my mom does or thinks actually helps me let go a lot. We just have to decide how to handle it on our end. I'll definitely keep you posted. Thanks so much for commenting."Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17331081210249384572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6706622696479155515.post-19558319832621782822010-01-26T09:05:07.013-05:002010-01-26T09:05:07.013-05:00I'm reposting a comment from Wilma (http://www...I'm reposting a comment from Wilma (http://www.wilmasblog.com):<br /><br />"Daphne, congratulations! You got to see 'what is so', you champ! <br />And of course there is a lot more 'what is so' to unearth with your mother and how you relate to all that. <br />Painful? Yes, it hurts when you see what is possible and when you see how people do not go for it and choose limited options. However you can also indulge in pain, so forgive and move on, do not feed your pain body. <br />I love how you gain clarity, it is beautiful to see, xxo Wilma"<br /><br />I responded: "Wilma, thank you so much! It's amazing how much my progress comes in line with your blog! There will be a lot more to unearth with my mom, you're so right. I'm proud to say that I did not wallow in my pain. I moved on and had a very good weekend. I'm preparing for my next conversation with her. Thank you so much for accompanying me on this journey."Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17331081210249384572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6706622696479155515.post-84271480975830605142010-01-26T09:04:19.712-05:002010-01-26T09:04:19.712-05:00I'm reposting a comment from The Liumberjacksw...I'm reposting a comment from The Liumberjackswife (http://thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com):<br /><br />"Hello . . . this is my first time visiting! Marriage is tough enough, but adding in family/in-law drama makes it so much . . . trickier. :( <br />Sometimes I tell my husband we should move to Alaska. :)"<br /><br />I responded: "Welcome to my blog and thank you so much for your comment! Marriage can be tough and you're right, having family situations that aren't supportive does make it difficult. I just checked out your blog - the post about your in-laws and Facebook had me cracking up. I'll look forward to hearing more from you!"Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17331081210249384572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6706622696479155515.post-68191224769234602032010-01-26T09:03:19.736-05:002010-01-26T09:03:19.736-05:00I'm reposting a comment from Newlywed Kate (ht...I'm reposting a comment from Newlywed Kate (http://newlywedandunemployed.blogspot.com):<br /><br />"Wow, Daphne.. what a tough moment. It's hard to turn the magnifying glass on yourself like that, but it's so awesome that you immediately recognized the change and were able to identify it. Really makes me feel.. powerful when I get those moments of insight. And my kudos to Donald for responding so well - give him lots of praise and happy! <br /><br />I also hope that your mom comes around. I'm sure you recognize that that's totally on her and not a reflection of your worth, but I felt like putting that in writing."<br /><br />I responded: "Kate, thank you so much! It is powerful when we can find ways to take control of and responsibility for those things we can influence. I'm very lucky to have such an understanding and supportive husband. <br /><br />I hope my mom comes around too. I know that I need to take an active role in our relationship. I also know that she probably needs a certain amount of space to grow and develop herself so that she can make some choices about how she wants to be, the same way I have. You are so wonderful to remind me that I am worthy with or without her approval, thank you!"Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17331081210249384572noreply@blogger.com